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My Resolution: Gain 200 Pounds
My New Year’s Resolution is to gain 200 pounds. No, I’m not dangerously thin, and no, I don’t want to gain 200 pounds of pure muscle. I want to gain 200 pounds of pure, unfiltered waste — the equivalent of 700,000 calories in brownies, snickerdoodles, cupcakes, fudge pops, mountain dew, mars bars, M&Ms, margarine sandwiches, and
guacamole milkshakes. There’s no particular rhyme or reason to my resolution; it will probably take 10 years off of my life and inflict disgust onto any women I meet, both in the process of gaining the weight and after having put it on.
By Eric
Misprint Magazine’s New Year’s Resolutions
More Misprint
Less Misprint
Shave my beard
By Misprint Magazine
Pet Shop
I hope to finally open my own pet shop catering specifically to pygmy goat lovers like me. It will have a large grazing area out back, too, where visitors can feed them and sing Top 40 hit songs to them like “Womanizer” by Britney Spears.
Posted in Your ResolutionsBy starrscribe
New Year’s Promises
This year I vow to exercise more and worry about my weight less, be kinder to myself and tell everyone who has an opinion I don’t like and didn’t ask for to keep it to themselves. Oh yeah, and to cure cancer and bring about world peace. ’09’s the year, baby! 
By kittybunny
Rezzolution 2009
2009 will be remembered fondly as the year during which I finally got that alpaca farm idea off the ground.
Posted in Your ResolutionsBy ghostface
My New Year’s resolutions are:
1. Learn how to brew my own beer
2. Start learning Arabic
3. Squat 100 lbs
4. Bike 50 miles a week
Posted in Your ResolutionsBy brittany
2009 - Here I Come!
Although I feel pretty good about 2008, my New Year’s resolution for 2009 will focus more on being health conscious and enjoying the “quiet times” life offers.
Posted in Your ResolutionsBy estodo
I resolve to keep on making resolutions throughout 2009
I’m a big fan of making resolutions throughout the year, not just on New Year’s eve.
So much so that myself and two friends created Pledgehammer on our free time. It provides an easy way to write your resolutions down and share with whoever you want to share them with. It also has a charitable ‘flipside’ to it - if your resolution doesn’t stand it asks you to donate money to charity. So whether you keep your resolution or not, either way the world will be a little bit better.
Here’s a list of my resolutions do date. Expect many more in the next 24 hours or so 
By andrus
I really mean it this time!
I am really really truly going to keep my resolutions this year. I want to a) lose weight and b) save money. I figure I can make them work together — if I eat better, I’ll save money, since healthy, simple food like fruits and veggies are cheaper than the processed junk that I am addicted to. If I lose weight, I’ll also be able to save money by shopping my own closet and wearing the clothes I’ve grown out of! (I think I literally have about five sizes worth of clothes in my closet.)
Posted in Your ResolutionsBy DahDiddy
My New Year’s Resolution
I resolve to become more patient. Also, I’m going to look for more ways to be creative this year!
Posted in Your ResolutionsBy Helena Handbasket