“Maybe and Sometimes” vs. “Always and Absolute”
Thursday, January 4th, 2007
This new York Times article, Resolved: To Go Easy on the Resolutions, has an interesting perspective on the subject of resolutions. Here’s the conclusion:
Inspired by Ms. Wiggin, that is my resolution. Not to cut back on caffeine (I know my limits …), but to live in the in-between. I have pledged, too many times, to exercise often, to keep my office perfectly organized, to pause from work regularly and pick my children up from school. The list has become not a map to improvement but a list of ways to kick myself for failing.
So this year I will try to exercise “more,†to keep my office “more or less†organized, to pick up the boys “as often as I can.†To set goals of maybe and sometimes, rather than always and absolute.
I can see the value of this moderate approach to making improvement, but I also think there’s something to be said for making some absolute changes in your life. Some goals simply require sustained dedication in order to be achieved. That’s not to say that you’re a bad person if you skip a workout, but you’ll never see your fitness level improve significantly if you exercise only “sometimes.” And what does “sometimes” mean, anyway? Once a week? Once a month? Three times a year? There’s definitely room for “sometimes” to be so insignificant that it doesn’t involve a change in behavior at all. And you obviously can’t “sometimes” quit smoking, or “sometimes” lose weight (you’ll just gain it back). There are just some goals that require almost-absolute commitment.
I definitely think that small changes are better than no changes, but I also feel it’s worthwhile to take big steps at some point — though maybe only after taking smaller steps for some time. I guess that’s what I’m doing with my marathon training plan: starting out with easier, shorter runs and building up to the big day. But if I only did my easier runs “sometimes,” I’d never get strong enough to run 26.2. What do you think about making small changes in your life? What are some goals that require more than a “sometimes” commitment?
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One Comment
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January 4th, 2007
For sure, my goal requires an all or nothing approach. I have incorporated a compromise into my plan though. I’ve added an “intermediate” level to my goal by allowing myself more time to work towards my desired outcome, which is to quit smoking entirely. I’m hoping by doing that, it will be a little easier for me when I get to the crucial quit day.
For your goal, I don’t see how a sometimes thing could work for you. I don’t think a maybe or sometimes attitude can really bring about positive changes. Things that are worth having, in my opinion, are worth working for.